When adoptee Cat Stubbs gave birth to her son JD she worried about what to tell him about her own adoption story and the things she didn’t know about her birth family. And then she had what she describes as an ‘ah-ha’ moment.
“I was born in Busan, South Korea and turned over to Holt International when I was only a few days old. During my time as a Holt orphan, I was placed in foster care and a generous family raised me until I was adopted to my parents in the United States at three months old.
“While this story has always been enough for me, I wondered if it would be enough for my son. I wondered, “Would he ever want to know more? If so, what would I tell him?” An anxiety began to play into my mind.” Sadly before JD’s birth, Cat’s adoptive father died. But they were able to tell him that his grandson would be a boy who they planned to name John, after him.
“And then I had an ah-ha moment. Teaching JD about his Korean background, I realized, would be no different from teaching him about the grandfather he’ll never get to meet. I’m only able to teach what I know, and as long as I do that with integrity I will do right by him.
“So far, I feel like I’ve been able to meet this commitment. From taking JD to Korean restaurants to celebrating his Baek-il, I try to honor our Korean heritage by making it a part of our family’s culture. My hope is that by regularly exposing him to Korean culture, he’ll have a general sense of our shared background.”
“When he does ask me about my personal story, I hope that we are able to explore that subject together. If I don’t have the answers he looks for, then I want him to know I support him in learning more — however he needs to. But no matter what, I want him to know that I love him and that he has a strong heritage to be proud of — both Korean and American.”
Read Cat’s story in full and discover more about Holt International’s post-adoption services.
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Sarah, the mother of my adopted son
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